Category Archives: Rants

April 5, 2011 · 7:18 PM

PLAY CALLING

Play Calling by Coach Hays

One of my all-time favorite things about football is play calling.  I loved it as a coach, especially on the defensive side of the ball.  As I was a fan long before I was a coach, I learned the bleachers are the perfect place to appreciate the fine art of play calling.

One solid fact about play calling I learned in my time as a fan was this little nugget of wisdom; Plays called from the stands AFTER the actual play is over have a 100% No-Fail Rate.  Seriously, if a 4th and short iso run play gets stuffed at the line of scrimmage, there are at least 50 guys in the stands hiking up their jeans, sucking in their gut and exclaiming to everyone within a 12 row radius, “I’d a passed right there, a quick slant.”

Now, let’s take the same 4th and short situation.  If the call of a quick slant pass falls incomplete to the turf, those same 50 guys hiking up their jeans in the stands are saying, “Shoulda run the iso, that’s what I called in my head while they was still in the huddle.” This still cracks me up today as a fan and used to cracked me up as a coach.

One JV game night, we played after the freshman squad’s game at our home stadium.  We arrived in the 2nd quarter of the freshman game and we had time, so we let the kids watch some of the game from the endzone before we began warming up.  The double wing team the freshman were playing were moving the ball well.  After a couple long runs, what sounds like a older gentleman from our home stands started screaming “WATCH THE RUN!  WATCH THE RUN!”, in that maniacal voice one often finds in the stands of sporting events.  Very next play, the opponent threw a long play action pass that put them inside our 10 yard line.  Guess what the older gentleman screams now.  “WATCH THE PASS!  WATCH THE PASS!”  Classic.  And the best part was he kept this up well into the fourth quarter.  I giggle just to think about it.

Another play calling story.  We hosted the opening game of district playoffs with our rival and challenger for the district championship in town.  We control the first half against their highly potent (and relatively rare for that time) spread offense, thanks to the secondary gameplan of Coach Smith.  We get the ball back with a lead less than two minutes in the first half and with Coach Smith calling the offensive plays, we methodically move the ball down the field.  We don’t call any timeouts, the clock is running down to half and our plan is to score or hold the ball until the half runs out.  We know we don’t want to give their offense a chance to score.  So, we’re moving the ball, not calling timeouts and for the first and only time I become aware of a fan in the stands screaming, “YOU STUPID COACHES!” over and over again.  Well, screaming is too nice a term.  As I look to the action on the field, the voice I hear emulating from the stands sounds like Mama Alien from Alien 2 if she were to sit in the stands of a high school football game and scream, “YOU STUPID COACHES!” at the top of her lungs.  Well, to make a long story short, led by us “STUPID  COACHES”, we score with less than 10 seconds left, run the clock out on the kickoff and go on to win the game handily.  Not bad for stupidity.

Want  to know what it is like to call plays?   I give you this representative scenario to describe what it is like.

Stand up and hop on one foot around the kitchen while a pot of spaghetti noodles boils over on the stove next to the bubbling pan of sauce and the garlic toast sits on the white hot griddle.  You are hopping because you dropped the heavy pasta pot lid on your big toe.  Then your three year old sextuplets knock over the 20 gallon aquarium and are currently “bathing” in the fish juice soaked carpet.  Next, the doorbell rings and in marches a gaggle of Girls Scouts hawking the world’s best thin mint cookies. Broken toe, dead fish, wet kids, houseful of precious little angels selling fattening discs of chocolate heaven, soggy pasta, charred garlic toast, smoky sauce and …THE PHONE RINGS.

It is Alex Trabec saying that if you can provide the correct question to the clue “65 Toss Power Trap “ within ten seconds you win 1 million dollars.

You get excited, you know this answer and shout into the phone, “Play Hank Stram called for a Chiefs TD in the Super Bowl IV”.

“Sorry, correct answer, but it was not in the form of a question.”

Ladies and gentlemen, that is play calling and that is why I liked it so much.

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March 23, 2011 · 8:48 PM

Shame On Me

“If we, as Kansans and as religious communities, who are committed by our core values to look out for the marginalized and most vulnerable in our society, if we are not paying attention to this, what are we about?  If this doesn’t matter to us, what does?”

“What happens to these folks when nobody is looking?  We need to, as citizens of Kansas, hold ourselves accountable to the value of taking care of these people.  Not just today, but tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.”

-Pastor Tobias Schlingensiepen

Topeka First Congressional United Church of Christ.

This time of the year (tax time) finds me moaning and groaning quite a bit about the money the governments take from me.  This year was even worse than usual, with all the Tea Party Limbaugh Fiscal Conservative-ness floating around nowadays.

I am driving home the other night and listening to Kansas Public Radio.  They ran a locally produced piece from a series they are doing on health care.  This particular piece was a response to the Kansas governor’s proposal to close the Kansas Neurological Institute in Topeka, one of the last facilities for the severely disabled in Kansas.  As Pastor Tobias Schlingensiepen began to talk (Listen at link below) about a sermon he gave, which has taken like wildfire throughout the Topeka clergy community, the lightbulb began to go off inside my head.  Pastor Tobias nailed the very essence of what it means to be a HUMAN BEING, what it means to be a faith-filled member of society.  After several minutes of self-reflection, a shadow of shame crept in and dimmed the light bulb in my head.  I realized I had failed, I had placed my own selfishness in front of those who “marginalized and most vulnerable” people out there who need me to care.  I should be willing to pay, not complaining to pay, the meager tax amount to help provide these citizens and their families a safety net.  I should be doing more.  I should be more Matthew 6. Shame on me.

Clergy Question KNI Closure

For more background

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January 31, 2011 · 11:27 AM

The Steeler Way

The Pttsburgh Steelers, with another  team of virtual nobody’s, are in the Super Bowl again.  I heard something astounding about the Steelers the other day on ESPN Radio.  Since 1975, the Steelers have had only seven sub .500 (losing) seasons. That means over that 35 year time period, in an age where the very league they participate in (THE NFL) legislates parity and a organization quality cycle, the Pittsburgh Steelers had winning seasons 80% of the time. That is a remarkable success rate that goes far beyond the raw athletic talent on the field.
How do they do it?  (Here are the humble opinions and observations of Coach Hays)
A. Plan
The Steelers ownership have a vision of what they want to accomplish.  They paint the picture of what their vision looks like and post it on the wall for all in the management to see.  They then sit down and decide how they want to go about the business of attaining the goal.  In other words, they develop the personality of what their team needs to be. Once they know what they want to do and how they want to go about doing it, they take their picture of their goal vision off the wall and cut it up into pieces, much like a jigsaw puzzle.
B. Personnel
The Steelers ownership goes about finding the people that fit each piece of the big picture puzzle.  First the outside frame pieces are found and assembled, the right general manager, a top flight scouting staff, the right head coach, offensive and defensive coordinators and position coaches.  Now, the magic begins.  The aforementioned group watches hours of film, performs thousands of scouting visits, hundreds of interviews to find, select and sign the individual athletes that fit perfectly, like a glove, into each of the puzzle pieces.  Once each piece is found, the often undervalued ability in the NFL  to coach each of these pieces into a proper “fit” in the puzzle picture occurs.  Finally, the goal and vision picture is now ready to assemble from the pieces.
Personnel Note:
37 men on the Pittsburgh Steelers 53 man roster for the Super Bowl are homegrown draft picks or un-drafted free agent signings.  Here is a list of their first round draft choices of the past decade.  Impressive.
2001 Casey Hampton (DT)
2002 Kendall Simmons (G)
2003 Troy Polamalu (DB)
2004 Ben Roethisberger (QB)
2005 Heath Miller (TE)
2006 Santonio Holmes (WR)
2007 Lawrence Timmons (LB)
2008 Rashard Mendenhall (RB)
2009 Ziggy Hood (DT)
2010 Maurkice Pouncey (C)
C. Performance
Through the course of the season, the organization goes about the business of working through the peaks and valleys of a 16 game NFL season in order to hang the picture back in a place of esteem on the wall.  In the case of 2010-2011 season, that place of esteem is a return to the Super Bowl.
Calm and steady, moving forward one step at a time. Every man does their job on every play. Blue collar, hard hat, lunch pail, sprinkled with a healthy dose of Pittsburgh attitude.  That is the Steeler Way.

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January 18, 2011 · 6:23 AM

We must remember, so that we may never forget.

Rest Day Read (SR-70)

“I have a dream” speech by Martin Luther King, Jr

“I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal.”

“I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”

“Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force. The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny and their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We cannot walk alone.”

I know we have all heard and seen excerpts from this great speech many times, but we must continue to listen to the message. We must remember, so that we may never forget.

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December 15, 2010 · 9:50 PM

Cold Enough To Start Your Leg On Fire

Rest Day Read (SR-65)

Cold Enough To Start Your Leg On Fire

by Mike Hays

Back in my football coaching days, we had a group of kids who were, to put it mildly, a bit deviant.  One mid-season Monday when we show up for JV game/varsity practice, one of these young men has an injury and is not able to participate.  He has a fairly severe burn that ran just below his knee all the way down to the high ankle.  When asked how this happened, the young man said he was jumping over a camp fire the past weekend.  He guessed he just did not jump far enough.  It was a nasty burn.  He said he did not go to the hospital because his dad’s girlfriend was a nurse.  She wrapped it up and would take care of it.  Needless to say, he missed some action, but came back no worse for wear a couple weeks later.

Flash forward to the last week of the season.  We have practice and it is friggin cold, with a north wind blowing about 40+ MPH.  Probably the coldest practice we ever had.  Colder than the 2002 practice where we had the entire sidelines of 20 or so substitute players hunkered down in an incrementally lower squat position on the south side of a 6’2″ 275 lb. lineman. (Dang that was funny, wish I had a picture of that.).  Well, the kids are complaining about the cold.  Over and over and over complaining.  I just keep telling them it is not even cold yet.  Burnt-leg boy keeps saying he’s not cold at all. Then it starts drizzling!  Misery squared!

Burnt leg boy finally lets go, “!@#$, Coach!  How !@#$-ing cold is it out here?”

In one of my greatest stupid-funny lines ever, I answer,  “Son, I believe it’s cold enough to start your leg on fire.”

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November 6, 2010 · 8:32 PM

The Physical Space: A Coach Hays Rant

Rest Day Read (SR-57)

The Physical Space a Coach Hays Rant

The secret to physical preparation lies in the the work.  The physical space is a vital component of that work.  The outpouring of heart and soul, blood and sweat, time and effort, is key.  The pressure applied by the athlete toward themselves over time prepares the body for physical challenge, much like pressure applied to carbon over time results in the formation of a diamond.  Hard work, every day, every minute, every second.

The secret to success is not a shiny new training space with matching new pieces of equipment.  The success lies not in mirrors and color coordinated outfits.  The success lies in offering a good physical space which, above all else, is safe and effective. Let me repeat, safe AND effective. A good physical space needs heavy things to lift, move and carry.  It needs places to hang from, drag things over and move upon.

The environment has to be welcoming, the athletes should want to go there to work.  Athletes should know they are expected to be there.  The cultivated physical, mental and emotional environment must make the athlete want to show up and put it out there every session.  Everyone gets better, everyday.  That is how teams are made.  That is how athletes learn to trust each other and become a unit, a team.  Players know their teammates are putting it out there.  Hard work and trust become contagious.  Then the diamonds are formed.

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October 27, 2010 · 8:08 PM

Rest Day Read: The Legend of Sleepy Hollow

Rest Day Read (SR-55)

THE HALLOWEEN SPECIAL

The Legend of Sleepy Hollow by Washington Irving

“In the dark shadow of the grove, on the margin of the brook, he beheld something huge, misshapen and towering. It stirred not, but seemed gathered up in the gloom, like some gigantic monster ready to spring upon the traveller.”

I read this story every October.  I read it from THE BOOK.  Used to read it to my kids when they were little to get hyped up for Halloween.  It is a magnificent story written by a master.  Enough said.  Read and enjoy.

Note: Later this week, come back for the spine tingling story of a young boy, his hand-me-down Johnny Roger pirate costume, a wet chilled Halloween and how he came to be despised by his three older siblings. A truly haunting tale.

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October 23, 2010 · 9:55 PM

The Book: Introduction

Back in 1980, in a quaint little public high school named after the First President of the United States, in the wonderful city of Kansas City, Kansas, a wayward young lineman, a junior at the school, took a semester course called Short Story.  The wayward young man took this course because either he was incredibly interested in literature OR it sounded like an easy class to take (you know, SHORT story vs. LONG story).

The Short Story course had a textbook.  But it was no ordinary textbook.  I, no,  I mean, the young man still remembers walking into the closet to get his copy of the torn ancient book off of the shelf.  To make a long story short, over the course of that semester class, driven by that book, the young man was transformed into a reader.  The world changed.

At the end of the semester, the young man almost surely remembers checking the book back in.  But the book somehow knew the young man needed it and followed him for the rest of his life keeping him honest and reminding him of the beauty of the written word.

The book is called MAJOR WRITERS OF AMERICA, copyright 1966, Under the General Editorship of Perry Miller, late of the Harvard University.

It is like a Hall of Fame of American Literature.  Many of the stories contained within are my absolute favorites.

“The Legend of Sleepy Hollow: Found Among the Papers of the Late Diedrich Knickerbocker” by Washington Irving, one of my favorite all-time stories.  What I remember best about this story is reading it to my kids every October when they were little in order to get in the Halloween mood.  It still makes me happy to think about reading “Sleepy Hollow” lying prone on the bedroom floor, one or more kids sitting of my back, the others lying next to me, listening to Irving’s magnificent prose.

Did you know Robert Frost wrote other poems besides “Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening”?  I didn’t, until I opened this book.

And let’s say, one would ever, ever, ever want read a poem by Walt Whitman or Emily Dickinson, I can hook you up.

Sherwood Anderson’s “The Egg”, “Bartelby the Scrivener: A Story of Wall Street”, by Herman Melville, a little ditty called “Civil Disobedience” by Henry David Thoreau, Poe, Hawthorne, Emerson, just to give you a sampler.

Some of the stories, like Hemingway’s “Big Two-Hearted River”, I have probably read 100 times.  Others, like “A Witch Trial at Mount-Holly” by Benjamin Franklin, I have yet to read.

Besides the Bible, this book probably has had a bigger influence on me that any other written text on the planet.  It helped mold a big, dumb lineman into a man with a love of the story and a love of words.  I apologize to Washington High School and sincerely hope that the statute of limitations has expired.  Rather than pinching a book from a public school, I prefer to think of it as a “book rescue”.

Man rescued book; book rescued man.

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October 11, 2010 · 8:16 PM

Coach Hays has left the building…

No Coach Hays rant this week.  I am attending an online writer conference, The Muse Online Writers Conference.  It is a damn good conference and I am learning as much as my pea brain can squeeze in.  So much, in fact, you may no longer have to suffer through my drivel, for it will all be eloquent prose from here on out.

But heads up, the next blog post will be about CHARACTER, the missing link in the search for humanity in our modern world.  Here’s a teaser.  It’s something I used to preach to our kids prior to the school administrators stepping up their  enforcement of behavior policies.  One of my biggest mistakes EVER as a coach was defaulting this duty to the “professionals”.

“Nothing you do on the field of play can make up for being a piece of crap off it.”

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October 6, 2010 · 8:48 PM

Do It. Did It. Done It!

Rest Day Read (SR-51)

Do It. Did It. Done It!

“Johnny did P90X”

“Mary did RKC”

“Andrew did CrossFit”

“Elizabeth did Maximum Effort Black Box (MEBB)”

“Frank did Bigger, Stronger, Faster(BSF).”

I was sitting in the doctor’s office with one of the offspring today.  It was quite the extensive visit, so I had the chance to read a couple Men’s Health magazines from their selection of reading materials.  It had been several years since I have even opened a MH issue.  I subscribed for a year to their spinoff Men’s Fitness a while back, but that was about it.  I was amazed how many “workout” systems they present in ONE issue of their magazine.  It sent my mind reeling.  Do you realize how many “workout” systems there are out there?  I imagine it is somewhere into the thousands.  And in the rise of internet based information, that number probably is more into the tens of thousands.  With the incredible number of choices and information floating around out in the world, how are we supposed to know what we are supposed to be doing for fitness?  Which choice is the correct answer?

Do, Did, Done.

Set a goal and get to the “do”.

Make a plan and make it a “did”.

Then get after the goal and get it “done”.

There are many ways to exercise, find one you like and get moving.  Walk, run, air squats, weightlifting, dancing, sports, etc.  Like TV?  Well do something during commercial breaks.  Just hop off your keister and get busy.

Do, Did, Done.

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