Monthly Archives: April 2010

Summer Conditioning: Fail Cycle

Rest Day Read (SR-22)
Failure by Mark Twight of Gym Jones
“The gifted athlete who sails from one success to the next with little effort or training knows nothing of himself or how he might behave when truly pressured.”
Whenever I think I know what it is all about, whenever I think I have reached an acceptable, comfortable level and the good I am doing is good enough, I always seem to find a way back to Mark Twight’s essays on the Gym Jones web site. He always slaps me back into reality, back into challenging myself and pushing forward. Gym Jones always reminds me just how behind the game I am.
Back when I was training athletes, I lived by the philosophy of the Fail Cycle. I give you a task, first you would cuss me out and complain, then you would try and fail, beaten and broken. Then you would go home and it would eat at you all night that you failed. Then you would come back and work your ass off until you complete the task. Then a new, more difficult task would be handed out and the cycle starts again.
I admit, I used to worry about some of the stuff I would ask the athletes to do. But I also knew that we weren’t big, fast, or terribly athletically gifted as a group, so we had to prepare with maximum effort mentally and physically to turn our bodies into weapons. Their jelly-legged, exhausted, dead-ass tired bodies would drag themselves off the floor or dusty ground, give me that “you SOB” glare then go home. But the next day, they would come back fresh and ready to go.
It may sound weird to most, but seeing kids fight through those demons and push their mental and physical barriers, seeing them get up after being beat down and move forward a better man, is the one thing I miss the most about not coaching anymore. I do miss Friday nights, but I REALLY miss summer mornings at 6:30 AM.
No wonder the mothers worried so much…


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65 Toss Power Trap

Rest Day Read (SR-21)
“65 Toss Power Trap”
Wearing an NFL Films microphone during Super Bowl IV, Chiefs head coach Hank Stram made one of the classic play calls in NFL history, “65 Toss Power Trap.” Len Dawson recounts, “I’m in the huddle and here comes Gloster Richardson into the game with a play. He says ‘Coach wants you to run 65 Toss Power Trap.’ I said, ‘We haven’t run that play in a really long time, are you sure that’s what he wants?’ Gloster says, ‘Yes, it’s 65 Toss Power Trap.’” Running back Mike Garrett scored a touchdown on the play giving the Chiefs a commanding 16-0 lead in the second half.

Normally, I make some commentary on the rest day reads. But this subject is too emotional for me to get through without tearing up with joyful tears. I truly believe that putting the microphone on Coach Hank Stram was a pivotal event in turning the NFL and the Super Bowl into the super-megapolis they are today. Sorry, gotta go find a tissue.

1969 Kansas City Chiefs

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The Pollen Post No. 5: Pollen Theatre

Pleospora and Laccaria

Two star crossed young pollens fall in love amidst the violence and feuding of the olive grove outside of Verona.  In a cruel turn, the young pollens come  from deadly, bitter rival pollen families, Pleospora from the Ascospores and Laccaria from the Basidiospores.  In the end, tragedy triumphs.

The Sound of Pollinating

A sweet, innocent pollen accepts a position as governess for widow and his 14 offspring and instantly becomes a hit with the young pollens for her stupid songs and goofy dance numbers.  As fate would have it, she falls in love with the widow, a Captain in the military.  She marries the Captain, much to the delight of the 14 youngsters, then helps the family escape from the evil,  invading dictator, Nasonex.

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The Pollen Post No. 4: Pollen Facts


The Columbia Encyclopedia, Sixth Edition | 2008 | The Columbia Encyclopedia, Sixth Edition. Copyright 2008 Columbia University Press. (Hide copyright information) Copyright

Pollen are minute grains, usually yellow in color but occasionally white, brown, red, or purple, borne in the anther sac at the tip of the slender filament of the stamen of a flowering plant or in the male cone of a conifer. The pollen grain is actually the male gametophyte generation of seed plants (see reproduction ). Inside the anther, pollen mother cells divide by meiosis to form pollen grains whose nuclei contain half the number of chromosomes characteristic of the parent plant. Each pollen grain contains two sperm nuclei and one tube nucleus. After successful pollination , the pollen germinates on the surface of the stigma of the pistil and produces a tube that grows down through the style to an ovule inside the ovary at the base of the pistil. The sperm nuclei are then discharged into the ovule; one fuses with the egg nucleus (see fertilization ) and the other fuses with the polar nuclei to form endosperm (food-storage tissue) that in many cases nourishes the developing embryo in the seed. This process is basically similar in the conifers, except that in conifers there is no double fertilization and there may be a season’s lapse between pollination and fertilization (see cone ). Pollen grains, like sperms, are always produced in much greater quantities than are actually used, particularly by those plants that rely on the wind for pollination (e.g., grasses and conifers). Often clouds of dustlike pollen can be seen floating from wind-pollinated trees. Plants pollinated by insects and birds usually have sticky pollen and conspicuous flowers with colorful petals that often secrete perfume or nectar or both to attract the agents. Although pollen grains are microscopic in size and are thus visible to the human eye only in quantity, they are so diversified in appearance that plants are often identifiable by their pollen alone, e.g., by pathology. The waxy outer covering (which contains proteins and sugar—an additional attraction to pollen-gathering insects) is marked by characteristic patterns of ridges, spines, and knobs and is capable of expanding and contracting in the presence of moisture or dryness. Pollen grains are also remarkable for the length of the tubes some must produce: corn pollen tubes may grow 8 or 10 in. (20.3-25.4 cm) from the stigmas through the filamentous styles (commonly called “silk” ) to the ovaries. The life span of pollen may be less than two hours; its ability to produce the allergic reaction of hay fever continues indefinitely.

“pollen.” The Columbia Encyclopedia, Sixth Edition. 2008. (April 22, 2010).

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The Pollen Post No. 3: Pollen TV

The Pollen Post No. 3: Pollen TV

Pollenfeld (Sitcom)

The urban adventures of three young pollens, Grass, Flower and Tree and their wacky neighbor, Mold Spore, are played out in a hilarious show about nothing.  Well, not REALLY about nothing, but about the interactions between the microscopic reproductive particles of plants.

Pollen, Texas Ranger (Crime Drama)

Ranger Pollen fights drug cartels, gangs, thieves, kidnappers and terrorists to establish justice  in beautiful Texas Hill Country under the sage advice and occasional assistance of his mentor/martial arts sensei, Chuck Norris.

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The Pollen Post, No. 2: Ode to Pollen

The Pollen Post 2: Ode to Pollen

How do I love thee, pollen?

Let me count the ways.

Zero.  Naught.  None.  Nunca.   -278°C(0°K).  X/0.

There are no ways I love thee, pollen.


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The Pollen Posts No.1

Pollen Post 1: Introduction

Today, April 15, 2010, The Coach Hays page is starting a series of outrageously ridiculous posts on pollen.  I can’t remember a spring allergy season (tree pollen, grass pollen, flower pollen, mold spores, pet dander, etc. etc. etc…) that has been as bad as this very 2010 spring.  This morning, for about the 12th straight day, I woke up with the pounding sinus headache, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, gravely voice, you know, the whole nine yards of allergies.  Just for the heck of it, I thought it would be appropriate to have a little stupid fun at pollen’s expense.  Well, how about a lot of stupid fun at pollen’s expense?  It has definitely earned it!

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“Tell me, what do you do with witches?”

Rest Day Read (SR-19)
Monty Python and the Holy Grail: Scene 5

Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?”

Scene 5. Man alive this is so funny. Being a scientist by profession, this is so much more funny for me. Not because it is such an outrageous spoof of ancient, backward scientific logic and thought, but because it is such a mimic of scientific logic and thought and their relationship to the knowledge base of a historical place in time.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I absolutely love this movie. I have watched it at least 50 times. At least. Way back in 1981 or 82, I won a free video disk player from Doc’s Video, one of the first stores in the KCK dealing in the new technology of home video. Doc let me pick one disk from his rental collection as an addition to the prize. I went to the rack and there it was…The Holy Grail! I could sense Doc’s mortal fear at having to part with the disk, but I did not feel one bit of guilt or regret. Besides, Doc still had the Beta and VHS copies. I hauled that dinosaur of electronics back and forth to friends houses, college and beyond just to watch The Holy Grail. Eventually, early in the 21st century, the disk lost its magic and became non-operational soon followed by the failure of the video disk player’s motor. I now assume the soul of the device could no longer stand the separation from The Holy Grail disk and died of deep and utter despair. I now watch the DVD. My progeny, the faithful HaysKids, also love the movie. We often share the secret language of Holy Grail quotes within casual conversation or dinner time. Scene 5 is one of our favorites.

And by the way, does anyone know the air speed velocity of a laden swallow?

Scene 5 from YouTube

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Easter 2010

2000 years ago, a seemingly insignificant, on-the-fringe carpenter/preacher, rose from the dead and changed our world forever. Happy Easter!

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Music for Good Friday

Ellis Unit One by Steve Earle

I heard Ellis Unit One early this morning on the Alt Country station at AOL.  Very powerful song to begin with,  even more powerful in the context of  Good Friday.

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