Rest Day Read (SR-66)
Not a read today, but a funny rest day video from The Mrs. Coach Hays. A little humor is always good for the winter solstice.
Category Archives: Uncategorized
Workout Songs: Flashlight by Parliament
Don’t think fat, middle aged, no rhythm, white guys can enjoy the FUNK? Well, my friend, you are absolutely wrong. This is a GREAT song, maybe one of the greatest funk songs of all time. Used to dance to this song in the locker room and at school dances. My favorite.
Imagine a young, lineman-type kid going from Christ The King Catholic School to the very public, desegregated ninth grade of Eisenhower Junior High in Kansas City, Kansas. I was dead dog scared to say the least. It didn’t help at all when a girl at the locker next to mine OD’s and collapses in convulsions before the start of the FIRST DAY of school. But it all worked out. I learned a lot about life, learned that viewpoints can vary and learned that “home” means many different things to many different people. I ate chitlins and greens, toured the projects, saw my first .38 caliber pistol (in art class!) and was introduced to a whole new world of music. Without sports and all the friends (from all sorts of origins and backgrounds) I made from sports, the transition would have been disastrous and my life a whole lot less interesting.
Okay, okay, back to exercise and workout songs. I like to use this song, and other long, rhythmic songs like it, for a circuit timer. I will pick three or four exercises, (i.e. squats, push-ups and pull-ups) then do 10 reps of each for one round with the goal to see how many rounds can be completed before the end of the song. Try it, you’ll like it! Na na na ne na na ne na.
Filed under Uncategorized
Workout Songs: Bloodbuzz, Ohio by The National
Workout Songs
You gotta have them. The workout songs. The loud, chaotic, wall shaking music served with an underlying hum of intensity to prime your adrenaline pump. That is what I am talking about. It will push you through the tough times. It will get that rhythmic beat starting in your head that snakes to your heart, through the gut and into all your muscles. It goes to the top of the bell tower and starts the incessant ringing signaling it is time to get after it. It is time to run. It is time to turn it loose. It is time to let it fly.
The music doesn’t have to be fast loud head banging, but in can be. It can be something a driving as Kashmir by Led Zeppelin (my personal pro sports introduction song if I would have played pro sports and required an introduction) or something like Sandman by Metallica or country and western like, Are You Sure Hank Done It This Way? by Waylon Jennings. And what about the funk classic from Parliament, Flashlight? That will work and so will you. It doesn’t matter it just must have that underlying hum of intensity.
Today’s Workout Song is Bloodbuzz, Ohio by The National. Great song.
“I was carried to Ohio in a swarm of bees.”
Filed under Reads, Training, Uncategorized
The Dingo Ate The Bingo
Rest Day Read (SR-58)
The Dingo Ate The Bingo by Mike Hays
I was going to link to an intellectually uplifting article for today’s RDR, but I have got to relate to you a story about fatherhood. But to warn you, it runs a bit to the smartass/amusing side. In fact it made the Mom expel her lime green jello from mouth to plate during the dinner where the tale was first told. For the record, that hasn’t occurred in a LONG time. (Don’t say anything to the Mom about the lime green jello incident, though. Some things are better kept between us.)
Son, age 16, and father, age 46, went to Salina for a doctor’s appointment. While on the hour-long drive, son periodically shouts “Bingo” and tallies a count.
Finally, as they hit the I-70 Abilene to Salina stretch, the dad says.”Bingo? What the heck is that?”
“You say ‘Bingo’ when you see a yellow vehicle.”
Okay, easy enough. So we travel a few miles ahead, the ultra-observant dad sees a school bus. “Bingo!”
“That doesn’t count.” says passive-competitive son. “Buses don’t count.”
Next, the dad sees a Catepillar bulldozer in a construction zone. As “B…” begins to slip out of dad’s mouth.
Teenage son says, “Neither do construction vehicles.”
“Are you making the rules up as we go?” dad asks.
In that wonderful teenage tone comes the answer, “No.”
So teenage son runs the score up through the city of Salina on the way to the doctor’s office. Apparently, not only are yellow buses and construction vehicles not legal fare in this game of Bingo, but about every yellow vehicle the dad points out lies outside the rules. “Too orange-ish”, “no delivery vans”, “no 1972 Coup de villes”, etc., etc. etc…
After the appointment, a trip to exchange some clothes at the mall, which feels like sticking pins into the eyes, stop by the McD’s for a quick lunch and hit the road back toward home.
Son continues Bingo game, every yellow vehicle he points out is acceptable within the rules of the Bingo Society of North America and every yellow-ish vehicle the dad points out gets negated. Back on I-70, the dad has just about had enough of the game of Bingo.
Ahead, as if sent by God himself, the dad sees a tandem Fed-Ex tractor-trailer in the westbound lane. “DINGO!” the dad shouts.
Teenage son, ‘What are you talking about? Dingo?”
“Yeah, I am now playing Dingo. Delivery truck Bingo…Dingo. Get it?” The dad, using superior evasive strategy, completely dumbfounds teenage son.
“Dingo!” he shouts out at a passing Old Dominion trailer.
“Doesn’t count.”
“What???”
“It’s Monday, isn’t it?”
“Yeah. So…” he mind is racing trying to figure what is coming next.
The dad chuckles, “Son, Monday is Fed-Ex Dingo Day. I am up by one.”
On the east side of Salina, another tandem Fed-Ex trailer. “DINGO! Up 2-Zip”
About a mile or so down the highway we see a mid-size Fed-Ex delivery van. The son points and just about jumps out of his seat.
“DINGO!” He shouts.
“Sorry.” says the dad. “That’s a van, not a delivery TRUCK.” The laughter from one half of the car is uncontrollable as the car veers slightly in the lane.
(Note: This is where the start of the green jello incident commences on the retelling of the story later that evening.)
“That is NOT funny!” Teenage son is not happy as the tables turn in old papa’s direction.
You know sometimes you just can’t script real life any more funnier than it turns out. There is truly a God and He has a great sense of humor. For just at that moment, as the teenage son turns around and is complaining and pointing at the Fed Ex delivery van that did not count as a legal hit in the game of Dingo, four or five Fed-Ex tandem delivery tractor-trailers, a virtual convoy, rise up over the ridge in the opposite lane. As son is still lamenting about his lack of a score, the dad, who is laughing so hard he doesn’t really remember if it was actually four or five trucks in the convoy, says, “Dingo, Dingo, Dingo, Dingo and Dingo!”
(Herein lies the actual point that the Mom expelled the lime green jello from her mouth. 3 family members at the dinner table are laughing so hard they can hardly breath, while one stays absolutely silent.)
Teenage son sits in stunned silence. About 30 minutes down the road, he’s still silent. The dad sees a yellow trash truck down the road where they are at a stop sign. Just to rub it in, he calmly says, “Bingo.”
Teenage son’s head snaps up, returns to straight ahead stare position then deadpans, “Nope, that’s gold.”
Filed under Reads, Uncategorized, Writes
The Tallest Man on Earth: King of Spain
The Tallest Man on Earth just maybe one of the best artist names ever concocted. This is a great tune from a very talented young folk singer from Sweden. Great voice, songwriting and fresh guitar work. The audio from the rest of this set can be f0und at KEXP.org (Just follow this link).
Filed under Uncategorized
Not the most interesting man in the world…
Just saw this video spoof of my current favorite commercial series linked in a tweet from Catholic Key.
And being a married man for 20 something years, I find it absolutely hilarious.
Filed under Uncategorized
Friends, Romans and countrymen…with pea shooters.
Rest Day Read (SR-38)
“Friends, Romans and Countrymen…”
-Marc Antony’s speech fromJulius Caesar by Shakespeare
“Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears; I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him. The evil that men do lives after them; The good is oft interred with their bones; So let it be with Caesar. The noble Brutus Hath told you Caesar was ambitious: If it were so, it was a grievous fault, And grievously hath Caesar answer’d it. Here, under leave of Brutus and the rest– For Brutus is an honourable man; So are they all, all honourable men– Come I to speak in Caesar’s funeral. He was my friend, faithful and just to me: But Brutus says he was ambitious; And Brutus is an honourable man. He hath brought many captives home to Rome Whose ransoms did the general coffers fill: Did this in Caesar seem ambitious?When that the poor have cried, Caesar hath wept: Ambition should be made of sterner stuff: Yet Brutus says he was ambitious; And Brutus is an honourable man. You all did see that on the Lupercal I thrice presented him a kingly crown, Which he did thrice refuse: was this ambition? Yet Brutus says he was ambitious; And, sure, he is an honourable man. I speak not to disprove what Brutus spoke, But here I am to speak what I do know. You all did love him once, not without cause: What cause withholds you then, to mourn for him? O judgment! thou art fled to brutish beasts, And men have lost their reason. Bear with me; My heart is in the coffin there with Caesar, And I must pause till it come back to me.”
A little high brow culture for the Rest Day Read? Well…not completely. I am of an age and place where (and I think many of you will relate) my exposure to culture and arts was mainly introduced through the magic of television. And no, I am not talking about PBS here, people. I am talking about UHF. You old folks remember the UHF, don’t you? The channels beyond the normal VHF world of channels 1-13. UHF, original cable TV before there was cable TV. Where the weird and risque’ would appear, where we would get our cartoons, the serials, monster and horror movies, Star Trek, Lost in Space, Ultra Man, Johnny Socko and His Flying Robot, Benny Hill, etc. In the KCK, our window to the world of UHF was Channel 41, possibly the greatest kid-centric station in the history of broadcasting.
I was introduced to classical music and even opera through Bugs Bunny, Road Runner, Yosemite Sam and the rest of the Looney Tunes gang. And how about the scores to Tom and Jerry? A virtual Music 101 course. And this video classic from the Little Rascals I posted today to go along with Marc Antony’s famous speech from Julius Caesar was my first introduction to Shakespeare. I honestly admit, if I would have seen Marlon Brando’s performance of the Marc Antony speech before the Spanky version, Brando might as well be speaking Portuguese. I just would not have cared.
But the Little Rascals version opened the door for me. I laughed till I cried when I first saw that. I still laugh my butt off whenever I watch it. It is a classic! It without a doubt made an impression upon my young, pliable mind. I remember years later in high school, reading Julius Caesar and watching the film version in either English or Humanities Class. Not the most interesting stuff for a high school lineman type of a guy, I must admit. But to this day I remember the light bulb of recognition flicker on as we came to the lines “Friends, Romans, and countrymen, lend me your ears…” I immediately had the visual of Spanky and the pea shooters! Finally, after reading line after line after line of Portuguese, William Shakespeare became a little clearer, a little brighter and made a little more sense. Give the “Hi Sign”!
Filed under Rants, Reads, Uncategorized, Writes
THE COACH HAYS 